Happy ever after but dull

3rd February 2006, 12:00am
The grimmest day of the year past (January 23, according to a happiness expert), those nice people at World Book Day are trying to cheer us up by getting pupils to consider happy endings for tragic novels. But why stop there? Preposterous Endings could be the next great pub game. So how about Shakespeare’s Mr and Mrs Montague (the poison failed) and Hamlet, King of Denmark (the one where he took an anger management course and eventually inherited his father’s throne) or even Four Funerals And A Civil Partnership?

Obviously, EastEnders would have to go (No misery - no point) but there’s always Corrie. Real-world examples: all schools hit all targets, so every child is average, or Government minister admits: “We were wrong.” Oh, and everyone votes for the Education Bill.

Sorry, Ruth - just a game. Far too boring for real life.