* A Year 6 exercise about flags tied in with the recent Eurovision Song Contest. I held up a picture of the Union Jack and was informed by one pupil that it was the Spice Girls’ flag. This fact was confirmed by 30 per cent of the class.
EDNA TURNER
* Many of my pupils often moan about some of our bizarre English spellings. Young Simon thought his spelling of “continyoued” made much more sense than the real thing.
MARIA VIRTUE
* Abigail, six, was watching TV. Suddenly she announced: “I need more valium.” Surprised by this apparent early manifestation of drug dependency, her parents asked what she meant. “More valium,” she insisted. “You know - louder.”
MICHAEL SMITH