Helena Kennedy and Margaret Hodge, currently up there with the Teletubbies’ Tinky Winky.

Incentives:

We’re disgusted with these colleges unfairly offering mobile phones to attract students. Why didn’t we think of it first?

Incorporation:

Look back in anger.

Individualised contract:

Very individualised - in fact, no one’s ever seen anything like them.

Individual learners:

There will usually be one or two in your classes if you’re very lucky.

Individual learning accounts:

Lifelong learning sounds impressive, but what happens if most people want to do Christmas decoration-making?

Induction:

Careful if you’re coming on like a cross between Sir Laurence Olivier and Ricki Lake - students might think it’s their entitlement.

Industrial action:

When higher productivity level leads to increased income generation but not, alas, for you.

Initiatives:

Car boot sale or nearly-new event?

Inspection:

Of course you’re not doing anything special to impress them; but do call the girl at reception your Customer Care Interface, check your part-timers can operate the video recorder, and keep your students awake for their quality learning experience.

Inspector’s report:

The bottom line is “a mixture of strengths and weaknesses”.

Internal verification:

Do-it-yourself.