It is with mixed emotions that I write this. After 10 years as director of Respectme, Scotland’s anti-bullying service, I have this week returned to the looked-after sector for an exciting opportunity with Care Visions.

A decade ago, the policy landscape across schools and local authorities was, frankly, very poor with no coherent approach. People used bits of models from Scandinavia and Canada, so it was a real challenge to get all 32 authorities pulling in the same direction.

People like having a model to work to, and “Just tell me what to do/what to say” is an understandable and common request. But I have always preferred to be encouraged and supported to think about situations and what I could do about them. This assists with developing pragmatic materials that actually help someone, whatever their circumstances - on a Tuesday morning in school or a Friday evening shift in a residential unit.

In Scotland, we define bullying differently and we want to build the capacity and confidence of all adults to recognise and respond to it effectively. I am proud of this approach. It addresses what someone did and the impact it had; we don’t focus on labelling or stereotyping those involved or making assumptions about why they did it. We ask adults to consider: what was the behaviour? What impact did it have? What do I need to do about it? They should also think about what the child or young person wants to happen. This strategy is designed to let people react to each individual incident and focus on a response that’s appropriate for those involved.

Whole-school strategies

My research has shown that bullied children want options. They want to be able to consider things that help them to feel better as well as things that make bullying stop. They know that what worked for them won’t necessarily work for someone else. They are not convinced by assemblies and lessons on bullying, or detailed recording systems and playground monitors - they genuinely prefer whole-school approaches.

At Respectme, our combination of policy, training and resources, and campaigns was designed to help colleagues change the culture in their organisation, and has been well evaluated. Crucially, all 32 local authorities now have an anti-bullying policy, and I’m proud that Respectme has worked with, and directly influenced, 31 of these. We have trained about 7,000 adults who play a role in children and young people’s lives, and our campaigns have reached millions.

What is even more pleasing, though, is seeing schools’ attitudes to bullying changing: when they are inclusive and ask children and parents what they want to happen, and what they think relationships should be like. This happens every day - it doesn’t make the news, but it does happen. Children, for the most part, enjoy very positive and supportive relationships in school.

Yes, there are areas where schools still feel they “know best”, but practice is far more consistent than it has ever been. Schools have a national policy framework to work within. They have a local authority policy in line with this, and access to free tools and training that reflect the values of Respectme’s approach.

I have seen first-hand the confidence and commitment of teachers who have attended our training, or worked with us on policy, when they champion change locally. I have also seen teachers, sometimes in senior roles, who still refuse to accept that bullying is an issue or feel that if it happens outside school they cannot deal with it. Where bullying happens is not really the issue. Our role is to respond to it and consider what happened more than where it happened.

We have focused on getting it right with local authorities so that they can cascade their expectations to schools. To help address the gap between authorities and schools, Respectme has developed new materials to take individual schools through a process of self-evaluation and local policy development.

We do need to improve on other things that will have a greater impact on anti-bullying work, but that anti-bullying itself cannot and should not be expected to achieve.

The Scottish approach is influencing how bullying is viewed beyond our shores

We do need more inclusive education, which reflects the lives and experiences of LGBT pupils and families. We need better mainstreaming for children who have disabilities, as well as more inventive and realistic resources on inclusion, racism and diversity. We need to address gender-based issues more openly; the pressure on girls - and boys - to behave a certain way is as strong as ever. The impact of these gender norms and expectations reaches way beyond bullying.

I am proud of the fact that, since day one, Respectme has had an explicit commitment to equality. This has helped to define us as a service and will remain a key focus. I am proud that every single resource we have developed has been influenced by the views and experiences of young people. They helped us to stick by our messages when others were going in a different direction.

Here, I am thinking mainly about cyberbullying. “Cyber” is not is not really a word young people like or use. They see bullying online as, well, bullying. It involves the same behaviour - mainly name calling and rumours - and it is still less prevalent than face-to-face bullying, although more visible.

I am proud of the research we’ve undertaken over the past 10 years. We have trained colleagues across Europe and in the US, and our materials are used and accessed across the globe. The Scottish approach is influencing how bullying is viewed and discussed far beyond our own shores.

I want to thank all the people I have worked with in the past decade; and I want to thank TESS for stating, back when we started, that we had “an impressive boldness” about us. I never ever wanted to lose that.

Brian Donnelly was director of anti-bullying service Respectme for 10 years and this week began a new role with Care Visions