Finding out that I was 15 and pregnant was probably the most terrifying experience of my life. Undoubtedly, my biggest fear was becoming a failure, especially at school.
School had always been my calm place in a world that was full of storms. It was somewhere I thrived; a place where I enjoyed being. In other words, it was the last place I wanted to leave.
My teachers had always made me feel like I mattered, but after they found out about my “situation”, my education suddenly seemed to matter to them even more. They were determined that I was going to stay in school and pass my GCSEs.
I’d heard stories about pregnant girls having to leave their schools altogether and attend special centres where the facilities were poor and exam results were low. I was desperate for this to not be my experience. So, when I decided to keep my baby, I made a promise that I was going to try my hardest to give us the best future I could − starting with getting good grades.
‘I felt judged by some teachers - I knew they didn’t approve of my pregnancy’
The first action my school took was to assign me a student support coordinator. Her name was Jo and she was responsible for developing a care plan for attending school while I was pregnant. This included raising health and safety concerns, liaising with my teachers about how best to assist me and organising what would happen once I returned to school after having the baby.
There was talk of buying a special doughnut chair and of my sitting exams in a private room, but I didn’t want to receive any special attention; I wanted to finish Year 11 just like every other student.
The school set up a study space in the learning inclusion room so I didn’t have to attend lessons if I felt tired or if I just wanted to focus on my coursework. There was a lot of pressure on me to drop my subjects down to just maths, English and science, but Jo supported me when I said I wanted to carry on with all my options. She fought my case with the heads of departments who were worried about how their pass percentages might look.
‘Forever grateful’
Some teachers were particularly supportive, like my maths teacher, Mrs Curtis. Her commitment to “getting me through” meant that I was able to gain an A in maths − an achievement that I am very proud of and ever grateful to her for.
There was also a member of the senior leadership team who sat me down to talk about childcare options for when I was sitting my exams and in case I wanted to carry on into sixth form; something I hadn’t even considered. It was this level of understanding and support that helped my self-esteem and pushed me to work hard.
Of course, not all of my teachers knew how to behave towards me. Some saw the fact that I was pregnant as an inconvenience, or were annoyed at me if I chose to work on coursework in the inclusion room instead of attending lessons.
I felt completely judged by some of them and I knew they didn’t approve of my pregnancy. School staff should have training on how to be sympathetic towards teenage parents and their needs. Personal judgements should be left at the door.
Three weeks after my daughter was born, I took my GCSEs - in the same exam hall as the rest of my class, without the need for a special chair. I passed all nine subjects, leaving school with 13 GCSEs overall. This was a massive achievement that I owe to Jo, Mrs Curtis and the many other teachers who didn’t see my education as a write-off.
What teenage mums need most is not criticisms or judgement, but support to stay in education.
Nicky Brennan is a mother and student support worker from Birmingham
