Jo Brighouse

Not-so-silent night

Tarzan impressions in the school gym, games of ‘human buckaroo’, headteachers as hats… They may have a reputation for being reliable and sensible but, says Jo Brighouse, primary teachers show their true nature at Christmas. Here are her five tips for making sure your staff party is a cracker

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Primary teachers are a pretty tame lot. Reliable, sensible, upstanding members of society. We don’t swear or chew gum; we wear sensible shoes and a warm smile. We’re everything the outside world would want us to be.

While our secondary counterparts are free to enjoy crazy hairstyles, sarcastic banter with the kids and passionate encounters in stock cupboards (I’ve seen the sitcoms – everyone knows secondary staffrooms are a hotbed of sexual tension), we are conservative, restrained and spend our breaktimes conducting recorders and reminding five-year-olds how to use a knife and fork.

All very ...

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