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The stage is set for a theatre of the absurd

We’re weeks away from performing the school play, but judging by our prep, it seems like a lifetime, writes Michael Tidd

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Right – everyone line up quietly. We’re going to make our way down to the hall to…err, I think I said quietly! We need to walk quietly past the other classes who are still working hard so we can rehearse on the stage.

No, Jacob, you don’t need your costume, we’re weeks away from dress rehearsals.

Emily, can you pick up the CD player, please? And remember to bring the CD this time, too.

Max, you can bring the swords but I don’t want to see you swinging them around your head as we pass the infants.

No, Connor, you may not carry the shield. Not after last time.

Now, I’d like to see everyone ...

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