It’s easy to default to punishment. A detention here, a call home there - it can feel like a quick fix for challenging behaviour.
But if we’re honest, many of these traditional sanctions don’t get to the heart of the issue. They might suppress the behaviour for a time, but they rarely change it. As a profession, we’ve come a long way in recognising this, yet we still have a long way to go.
Within my pastoral team, we’ve been deliberately shifting the conversation - from what rule was broken to what led to this, and how do we support the student to do better next time?
A different approach to behaviour
It’s a subtle change, but it has had a profound impact. Working closely with heads of year, we’ve reimagined how we respond to behaviour, not by letting things slide but by ensuring that our response is actually meaningful.
We now approach incidents with three core questions:
- What’s the actual problem?
- What may have led to it?
- What will genuinely help this student to grow?
This framework moves us from simply taking time away from the student and instead asks us to give something back - time, attention, understanding and opportunity.
The turning point
This evolution didn’t happen overnight. The turning point came in the past academic year after a series of failed attempts to support a student who had tremendous potential but consistently made poor choices.
Despite multiple sanctions, nothing seemed to stick.
Eventually, we asked a different question: how can we use the qualities that make this student influential to make a positive difference? With that mindset, we began involving him in leadership work, supporting younger students, and giving him real ownership.
More on school leadership strategy:
The impact was a positive one, and it was a real light bulb moment for me as a pastoral leader, with the momentum growing from there.
These changes wouldn’t have taken root without the commitment and creativity of our middle leaders.
When they bought into the vision, they didn’t just follow it, they developed it further. Their ideas, their willingness to think differently and their belief in the students have driven this work forward in ways I hadn’t imagined.
Clear impact
Take one student, for example, who had lashed out using negative language. Rather than isolating him with detentions, his head of year worked with him through restorative conversations, recognising that his behaviour stemmed from a lack of identity and belonging.
Together, they found a solution rooted in passion and expression: he was encouraged to join a student band, which gave him both an outlet and a new group of peers. The difference in his confidence and engagement was clear within weeks.
Another student, who had previously been using their influence in less-than-positive ways, was offered an opportunity to lead - mentoring younger students, with adult guidance.
This simple shift, seeing the student as a potential leader rather than just a problem, unlocked something bigger: they began to take pride in their role and saw school as a place where they could contribute.
Providing students with real roles and responsibilities outside of the classroom - through extracurricular clubs, creative outlets or leadership - has become part of our culture. And the results speak for themselves.
The students grow. The team feels energised. And the narrative around behaviour shifts from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what’s going on for you?”.
Sanctions as a last resort
Of course, this doesn’t mean we’ve removed all forms of sanctions. While our approach is rooted in support and growth, we recognise that there are rare occasions when students may not respond to the opportunities offered or continue to make choices that impact others.
In those instances, further measures and avenues of support may be required. However, our current approach means such instances are few and far between.
These situations are always approached with care, reflection and a continued commitment to the student’s development. When one approach doesn’t work, pastoral leaders now have an ever-growing and evolving toolkit to draw from - tools that help to get to the root of the issue and guide the student forward, not just hold them back.
Pastoral care is not about control - it’s about connection, growth and trust. And when you have a team that believes in building students up, not writing them off, the outcomes, for everyone, are so much greater.
Ian Watts is assistant head of secondary (student wellbeing and community) at The International School @ ParkCity, Kuala Lumpur
For essential weekly intelligence on the international schools sector, sign up for the Tes International newsletter
