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2000 and counting
42 BY JOHN AGARD
I threw a tantrum when I turned two.
Refused to wear sensible shoes.
My parents could only conclude
that I was going through
the terrible twos.
What would they do
if I threw
a tantrum at forty-two.
First and fore most
FIRST AND FOREMOST BY JACKIE KAY
* My good points
I am fresh, novel,
the genuine article.
I am unprecedented.
From the word go,
- a healthy ego;
I’m incomparable,
bold and original.
Never backwards
in coming forwards.
Never put
off to tomorrow
what I can do
today. I rise at dawn
with the cockerel.
I reap the first fruits.
I put my good foot first.
I also first foot.
I am phenomenal.
First among equals.
I took the first step.
I made the first move.
I always stand up
to be counted.
I don’t run away
from the truth.
I get things first hand; I come straight
to the point.
Hold on, hold on,
I say, first things first.
To sum up:
I’m quite exceptional.
* My bad points
I am first
to fly off the handle.
I am selfish, callous,
cruel, ruthless.
I look after number one.
I put myself first.
My friends call me
Numero Uno.
It pains me, but doesn’t stop
me pushing
to be first in the queue. Oh!
I say snootily,
First come first served.
I don’t care for
other numbers.
Useless losers.
I travel first class.
I throw the first stone.
I am tall, lanky,
wear my beret
the French way.
I am Premier.
I am the first in my field.
I show off at first nights
I believe in yours truly;
the first stroke
is half the battle.
Let’s face things
frankly - I am the one
and only.
99 BY MICHAEL ROSEN
* You’re the nearly numbr
hanging about waiting to be a hundred
* cricketers wanting to make a century
speed freaks wanting to do a ton
a test result not quite full score
* 99, the nearly-guy
* but I look at you and remember teachers
telling us that all speech ended in 99.
The thing that ended talking was a 99
(It started with a 66, they said)
Write:
The man said, 66Hello99.
The speech marks to end all speech marks:
99
* 99 - not nearly, but an end.
But also:
an ice cream with a chocolate flake stuck in it - a delicious Excalibur
(Hard luck, King Arthur, you missed out on that one)
99, the last of the elevensey rhythms:
Nine elevens are ninety-nine.
Ninety-nine
Comin’ down the line Ninety-nine
Black-shoe-shine
Ninety-nine
Just on time
Ninety nine
Doin just fine.
64 BY CAROL ANN DUFFY
* Eight 8-year olds
sat in a tree
swinging their legs.
* How high have we climbed? asked one.
What if we fall!
another one said.
* Look at the sky!
shrieked a third.
Said the fourth, Why is it red?
* We’re so small
sobbed a fifth.
And young wept a sixth.
* Said the seventh,
We’re motherless birds
in a nest.
* But how many years,
how many years are we all?
sang the one in the yellow dress.
33 BY GRACE NICOLS
She’s in a bus queue,
She’s beginning to freeze,
‘Somebody tell me please - Why does the number 33 bus always come in
bunches of threes?’
Not even See-Far Woman’s spell Can solve that mystery.
Poems on the Net Maths Year 2000 has commissioned a team of online laureates to write poems about every integer to 100, as well as other significant numbers, such as 9, 0, and 2000. The poets are: Michael Rosen, Grace Nichols, Jackie Kay, Carol Ann Duffy and John Agard.
The poems are to be posted on the Internet next month. For more information, visitwww.mathsyear2000.org
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