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Baby and a packet of crisps please

Every year teachers have cause to marvel at the wonderful inventiveness of parents when naming their children. The TES website's staffroom discussion forum, for instance, reports a child named Tequila, a girl called Carling, and another, perhaps arising from a confusion of two strong Continental lagers, called "Amstella" in this year's intake.

But news last week that a girl in West Yorkshire had been named "Diot Coke" was truly sobering.

It seems, however, her parents had more of an excuse than most: she was christened back in 1379. Archivist George Redmonds, writing in Ancestors magazine, said her first name was a variation of "Dionisia", a common 14th-century forerunner of the modern name "Denise".

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