Bedroom farce

A tale of woe on the TES website forum from a female teacher in a young offenders' institution. "Every question the lads ask is full of sexual connotation," says our weary correspondent. "I am constantly asked what I do in bed. I just keep saying. 'Oh, I lie back and think of England. That's all you need to know.'

"Said the same today, uproar as our newest inmate cheered...yep, his name is 'England'."

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