When I was 7, my mum found the perfect job. Part-time hours, within walking distance of our house and it fitted in perfectly with the school holidays: she was our new school secretary.
But things can be difficult for kids whose parents work at their school. I quickly found that I’d never get picked for anything good because it would look like favouritism, and my teachers suddenly knew every little embarrassing thing about me. Worst of all was the curse of the double rollicking; If I got sent to the headteacher, I had to face my mum’s wrath too.
And then there was the time that I came down with a tummy bug and had to spend the afternoon vomiting into a bucket in the school office instead of being tucked up in bed because my mum had to finish typing up letters.
However, in some cases, it can be just as difficult for adults when they have to teach their colleagues’ children. For instance, a friend of mine who teaches in London is having a tricky school year already.
“I’ve got the deputy head’s son in my class this year,” she says. “She thinks he’s a genius, but he’s nowhere near where he should be. She keeps questioning me: why isn’t he in the top numeracy set? Can’t I move him up a few book bands? It’s really hard to disagree with her because I don’t want to upset my line manager, but at some point she’s going to discover that he’s not doing as well as she thinks he is and I’m going to get the blame for that.”
Nobody wants to upset their colleagues with tales of their child’s struggles and wrongdoings, but communication with parents is key, so you just have to grit your teeth and have those tough conversations. You might get a few evils over the biscuit tin in the staffroom, but you won’t be doing anybody any favours if you keep quiet.
‘Common sense’
Of course, it can go the other way, too. I once taught a lovely girl who worked hard, was a talented artist and was beautifully behaved, but she never seemed to get the recognition she deserved at school because her mum was one of the teachers. She was also subject to a bit of bullying from her peers who thought she was stuck up and boring because her mum worked there. Whenever I praised her, one of her friends would roll her eyes and mutter “just because her mum’s a teacher” under her breath.
You don’t want to make an already awkward social situation even harder for your pupil, but they still deserve praise and recognition. I dealt with it by giving her any glowing feedback in private or around a few of her trusted friends so that she knew that she was appreciated. Public praise I kept to a quick “well done”, to acknowledge her efforts. It worked for us, but I couldn’t help thinking that it just wasn’t fair.
On top of this, there’s also the common sense stuff to remember about teaching a colleague’s child, such as not bursting into the staffroom after an awful morning and shouting “that child is doing my head in” when “that child” is the offspring of the Year 1 teaching assistant. I hold my hands up: I did it. Fortunately, it turned out that her child regularly did her head in too so she had every sympathy, but not everybody is so understanding.
Sadly, if you’re struggling with issues surrounding the son or daughter of a colleague it can be a case of getting your head down and ploughing through the year. Next year, they’ll be another teacher’s problem.
Fortunately, there are often no issues at all regarding this set up and you, your workmate and their child will be perfectly happy. Just do me a favour and insist that they get taken home if they’re ill instead of being left in the library until the end of the school day. Let the poor things vomit in private - they’ve got enough to deal with.
Lisa Jarmin is a teacher and freelance writer
