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Bridal clown

Visitors to The TES website's online staffroom have been revisiting the hoary old subject of pupil howlers of late.

Our favourite was a tale about a youngster who told his teacher he would be absent on Friday because he was going to his sister's wedding.

The next Monday, the teacher asked him how it had gone. She also remembered that the boy's father was dead and asked the boy if he had given the bride away. The boy replied, "I could have, but I kept my mouth shut."

Any gossip or amusing tales? Email us diary@tes.co.uk

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