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Mind you, Carborundum suggests that the best candidate for the job might well appear through the unorthodox recruitment methods employed by one Michael Austin, principal of Accrington and Rossendale College. He confides: "The best response I ever had to a job advertisement was when I placed it in the Ferret Breeders' Gazette." He's got a sure-fire way of selecting the best candidate for the job, as well. Take the contenders to a hotel and spend time socialising. "Then ask the barman. He always knows which is the best one for the job." Don't call us.

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