1. The headmaster caned me only on rear occasions.
2. Our school is ventilated by hot currants.
3. A school teacher leads a sedimentary life.
4. All teachers at our school are certified.
5. They sent girls to finishing school to finish them off.
Taken from Must Try Harder! The Very Worst Howlers by Schoolchildren. Published by Constable Robinson. www.constablerobinson.com.