The pigeons around Paddy's Market, say it's the best o' them a',
The Barras is good if you're lookin' for food, and the Botanic Gardens are braw.
But if you're in toon on a Friday, ye cannae beat Sauchiehall Street,
Where a pizza, kebab, or a curry is sure tae land at your feet.
Proof that Clydeside has lost none of its radical edge emerged in a very fringe event.
Tony B-Liar, yer breeks are on fire,
Ye tried tae convince us ye couldnae.
There wis nae smokin' gun, only your smoking bum,
Noo yer erse is oot o' the windae."
We do not expect Barmulloch pupils to batter that one out.