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'Ere, Miss, 'ear this

A big party of visitors is doing the rounds at Owler Brook nursery. As Sue Graville, the head, takes them into one classroom, a young Asian lad approaches to announce that he's found a dead cat on the way to school.

"How did you know he was dead, Mohammed?" she asks.

"Well, miss, I pissed in his ear."

"Perhaps you'd better tell me about this later," says a slightly flustered Mrs Graville.

"No, miss. Honest. I bent down and went 'Psst' in his ear and he didn't move."

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