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FErret

Mosque rumours excite vandals without a cause

The phrase "mindless vandalism" may be a journalistic cliche, but FErret can think of no better way to describe recent actions at Bournville College's pound;66 million new development.

Part of the extension houses a conference centre. Through the medium of Chinese whispers, local residents have become convinced that it is actually home to a mosque. The reason? The walls are gold-coloured.

As a result of this piece of amateur detective work, which would leave even Inspector Clouseau twirling his `tache in bemusement, windows have been smashed and panels ripped off by some less-than-tolerant Birmingham residents. What do they imagine is happening, exactly? A great conspiracy of prayer mats being whipped out from behind water coolers as soon as students' backs are turned?

Never has a conference centre sounded more interesting. Just don't tell the religiously intolerant bunch about the synagogue pretending to be a staffroom or the church masquerading as a canteen.

Getting your own back the eBay way

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, the saying goes. But perhaps the author hadn't encountered a rebuked lecturer.

In retaliation for an "unfair" disciplinary hearing in 2009, Stephen Linzell decided to make Weston College in Somerset pay by squirrelling away its tools - and selling them off on eBay.

He spent two years taking hundreds of items - including trowels and spirit levels - from a store cupboard, and became addicted to flogging off his ill-gotten goods to fund lavish holidays, Bristol Crown Court heard.

While FErret in no way condones criminal activity, he can't help but admire Mr Linzell's audacity.

So, principals be warned: keep your PA sweet, or she might disappear with your chair, desk and - horror of horrors - the kettle.

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