1. "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen - "I just keep it on vibrate," says one teacher.
2. Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield (until the teacher realised it was also the theme from The Exorcist).
3. Theme tune from 197080s children's series The Flumps.
4. "School's out" by Alice Cooper during the holidays.
5. "Poison" by the same artist during term time.
Taken from a thread on the TES web forum at www.tes.co.uk. Email email@example.com with suggestions for this column.