‘Forget the pupils, what can a male teacher wear in this heat?’

Do you undo the top button, lose the tie altogether or rock the ‘dad at the beach’ short-sleeved Hawaiian shirt look?
18th July 2018, 1:47pm

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‘Forget the pupils, what can a male teacher wear in this heat?’

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Frankly, I have heard quite enough about what pupils should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear in the hot weather, or in any weather. Let’s take a look instead at the rather sweaty elephant in the room throughout the past few heated weeks - the male colleague and his notoriously hopeless summer wardrobe decisions. 

In truth, it’s widely accepted that we male teachers are fairly poor dressers at all times of year, but the recent spell of sustained hot weather has prompted many of us to make some especially misguided choices.

The crisis became especially acute when headteachers in the hot weather started to relax the usual dress regulations for staff, particularly over our wearing of a tie. That liberal move may have been well-intentioned but the new-found freedom has naturally caused regular tie-wearers quite a bit of anxiety. Many of us are clueless when left to our own devices. The result is that we have been drifting hopelessly between the following three options…

1. The loosened-tie, box-set detective look 

This was my own favoured option in the early stages of the hot spell. I freely admit that it was an absurd departure. With top-button undone and my knot a raffish four or five centimetres below the collar, I spent much of June under the illusion that I perhaps reminded people of some cool but overworked box-set American or Scandinavian detective. No one actually said this to me. “You look a mess,” was the more common reaction.

2. The young city dude

Eventually, I bit the bullet and joined most other colleagues in removing the tie completely. This was not an easy decision. For me, the tie has come to symbolise my work mode. Going tie-less feels too much like leisure time. By losing the tie, I feared slipping prematurely into summer holiday mode and no longer functioning properly in school. I would be mentally “on the beach” far too soon.

So, to try to counter this, I decided to punish myself in the searing heat by still keeping to my long-sleeved shirts - the ones I normally wear with a tie. Despite those high temperatures, I even refused to roll up the sleeves - perhaps hoping this time to come across as some charismatic young Tom Cruise-like figurehead in the city.

However, what might work for Cruise in an air-conditioned office does not work in a clammy classroom. Things became increasingly hot and sticky under that shirt. I took to spraying on even more deodorant than the average Year 9 boy.  Children began to notice my reddening ears and steam coming from my head. Eventually, the sleeves just had to go up - and then they had to go completely.

3. The dad at the beach/ Corfu disco look 

So I then joined other male colleagues in opting for the open-necked, short-sleeve shirt. This might sound the most sensible choice in such weather.  However, the short-sleeve option is simply not sustainable. The truth is that the open-necked number was almost certainly not bought with school in mind. Perhaps it was bought for sitting with our family on a beach. Or maybe it had its heyday when we were theoretically on the pull in some Greek island disco back in 1988. Either way those light, bright short-sleevers lack gravitas in the classroom and - again - send confusing messages to our brains about where we are and what we are about.

So, in the last few days of term, I think I may have to reject the short-sleeve option and start the cycle all over again. Or I could go for male option 4 (favoured by the very few), which is to keep that dark suit on with a view to keeping the heat out and maintaining some kind of  “continuity” for the kids, to the very end.

At least the crisis will be over by next week, when it’s the start of the summer holiday and I can simply focus instead on turning to the equally disastrous holiday wardrobe. 

Stephen Petty is head of humanities at Lord Williams’s School in Thame, Oxfordshire

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