Can you combine mathematics and religious education with a touch of GNVQ? How are your computer skills? Any languages? Teachers with a well rounded portfolio might be interested in a job in Britain’s deep south-west. Forget Land’s End and start thinking mid-Atlantic. The Isles of Scilly Secondary school is looking for teachers.

Let’s get this right from the start. There are no Scilly Isles or Scillies. Islanders insist on the Isles of Scilly and they’ve heard all the puns, most of which weren’t funny on the first telling.

The islands are famous for winter storms, flowers, incredibly picturesque scenery and Harold Wilson. The pipe-smoking Labour PM with the natty raincoat had a cottage on the islands and used to spend holidays there regularly - not something we could expect from the current incumbent of Number 10.

The school is on St Mary’s, the biggest island in the group. The 11-16 comprehensive has just over100 pupils, hence the need for multi-talented staff. Some children from the outer islands board in St Mary’s during the week. Post-16 students transfer to the mainland.

Islanders have toned down their leisure pursuits over the years. Passing ships are no longer lured on to the rocks to be stripped of their goodies. Today’s young bloods use gig racing as an adrenaline rush, rowing inadequate looking boats at full speed through pounding surf.

Potential castaways should call the school on 01720 422929.

Phil Revell