Skip to main content

Have you noticed?;Briefing

I AM rather alarmed by the news that the Office for Standards in Education is to take over inspecting childminders.

I have been so publicly and persistently rude about that nice Mr Woodhead that I fully expect him to turn up in person for my annual inspection. Good. He is one of the few people I can think of who would actually be improved by a small deposit of baby-sick on his shoulder.

Unfortunately, my pre-

OFSTED self-assessment reveals that my two-year-old is not potty-trained, the one-year-old can't talk and the 10-month-old baby has yet to produce a single tooth.

I am obviously a failing home and should expect a local authority hit squad to take me over. The fact that the children are happy, well-adjusted, stimulated and totally adorable will count for as little as it does in schools.

As a governor I know that any institution can fail if it is judged against criteria it does not recognise or aspire to.

Sadly, even were I to muddle through my OFSTED, there is no indication that parents would then be able to use their entitlement to a free place for their four-year-olds with me, or any other childminder. All the kicks and none of the ha'pence. And you thought teachers had things rough.

Log in or register for FREE to continue reading.

It only takes a moment and you'll get access to more news, plus courses, jobs and teaching resources tailored to you