Hayfever Couple

John Agard


He sneezes and she sneezes for pollen is their common enemy.

Never mind the straw hat and strawberry.

This is the season of deadly breezes when redness flickers in their oozing eyes and they spend their days in sniffles underneath the bastard summer skies.

They've tried acupuncture and hypnosis.

Still those sneezes will persist.

Poor couple, they can't stroll among flowers and breathe in the air like classic lovers.

Not today darling, the pollen count's too high.

And so they wipe each other's weeping eye.

Yet it's strange how a feather pillow seems to excite their libido.

They'd talk about the birds and the bees as they sneeze upon their knees in a wanton midsummer glow.

This is the first of six poems commissioned for the Summer School.

John Agard's latest collection for adults is lovelines for a Goat - born Lady (serpent's Tail) and for children Laughter is an egg (Viking).

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