Schoolwear supplier Price amp; Buckland is urging schools across the UK to shop around when it comes to uniforms, “in an attempt to ease the recession burden on parents”. Perhaps it’s unintentional, but its news release displays a fine punning talent. The Nottinghamshire-based company says some schools have started to shop around and notes: “Belts are tightening across the country.”

St Peter on his travels

Talk of uniforms brings to mind some saintly consternation in Clydebank. The arrival of the new St Peter the Apostle High, reincarnated from St Columba’s and St Andrew’s high schools, has sent parents into a spin as they try to source new uniforms - which come in the unlikely colour of purple.

Popular rumour has it that a ballot to choose the new colours was sabotaged by the weans. Not only is the new St Pete’s schoolwear very hard to come by, given the unusual colour, but it has led to desperate parents walking into one school uniform shop in Glasgow city centre demanding: “Huv youse goat St Peter the Apostle?”

Enough to try the patience of a saint.

The squeeze is on

Among the more exotic evening courses on offer at North Glasgow College is the quality-named Corsetry: Intermediate. Exactly what this might entail is anyone’s guess, but the college is hoping to squeeze in as many students as possible without stretching them too much. Rumours that the course is already busting at the seams are entirely without foundation, but students failing to bone up on the course work are likely to be bust by the college and suspended.

B and B

It was good to see our own emeritus prof Brian Boyd in full swing last week at the Edinburgh International Book Festival. In the audience was his son Chris, which is perhaps why Brian broke the habit of a lifetime and didn’t mention him in his lecture.

Brian is a busy man, of course, and has no doubt to be booked well in advance - a bit like education guru Jerome Bruner. He was brought to Scotland to address a conference last year, when he was 93. Bruner, too, is a very busy man and had to be booked 14 months in advance, Brian revealed.

As Brian pointed out, any 92-year-old willing to book an appointment over a year in advance has to be “very optimistic”.

Out of favour

Reference to “emeritus” prof reminds us of media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s famous quip as he prepared to part company with Sunday Times editor Frank Giles, making him “editor emeritus”. From the Latin, Murdoch explained: ”`e’ means you’re out and `meritus’ means you deserve it.”