Jotter - On yer bike, mate

At Drummond Community High in Edinburgh, new heidie Jon Reid is well - versed in and well-kent for his motivational pep-talks.

At Drummond Community High in Edinburgh, new heidie Jon Reid is well- versed in and well-kent for his motivational pep-talks. Unsurprisingly, at the session's opening assembly, he chose as his text the achievements of Team GB at the Beijing sporting jamboree, highlighting in particular the triple gold medal haul of Edinburgh's own cycling hero Chris Hoy. Hoping to inspire the pupils to emulate the Great Wheelie Man, his peroration reached its climax with what he no doubt intended as a rhetorical question: "Tell me, is there anything that Chris Hoy has that none of you have?" A wee voice piped up from the back of the hall: "A bike, sir!"

Learning bagged

Shoppers on Glasgow's south side have been given food for thought by Langside College, thanks to its branded paper bags being used by shops to wrap everything from spuds to the ever-popular student lunch of a gammon roll. Bearing the legend "Food for thought", the environmentally-friendly bags encourage shoppers to think about their future by getting in touch with the college about courses, in what is a fine example of wrapping up further education marketing, adult careers guidance, healthy eating, philosophy and "green" food all in one bag. The only item missing is disposal instructions, but presumably shoppers are hanging on to the wrappings to make a call to the college once they've shaken off the "tottie" dust.

Clan gathering

It was an appropriate slot for Matthew MacIver, the retiring (but not shy) registrar of the General Teaching Council for Scotland. His address last Friday to Selmas was appropriately titled "The Last Word". He related how he has often been confused with fellow Lewisman, Malcolm MacIver, leading salaries man in the Educational Institute of Scotland. "For the life of me," the older MacIver remarked, "I cannot understand how anyone could confuse the GTC with the EIS."

By any other name

Talking of confusion, there was plenty around the other week, as the nation was left agog at the identity of the real Duke of Sutherland and the real Stewart Sutherland (aka Lord Sutherland of Houndwood, former principal of Edinburgh University, ex-head of the Ofsted inspection service in England and currently leading an inquiry into the Sats exams fiasco there). Two of our esteemed dailies, pursuing the tale of the Duke's offer of his Titian paintings to the nation for pound;100 million, printed a picture of the Lord. Another, gleefully pointing out their mistake, compounded the error by captioning the Lord as "the 7th Duke". Now, about that Sats inquiry, the Duke concluded .

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