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Dear Miranda,

Amo tuam, amo tuam, amo tuam (I love you, I love you, I love you). (I'm good at Latin aren't I). Now remember this is not junk mail - all right? Good. Now please do not pay any attention to that windbag rat Ferdi Berdi. Im the handsome one - alright sweetie. Ferdi berdi is a teacher's pet, warty-ears, pimply- mask, flat-foot-duck-toed-knock-kneed-sweat, fat-face, bonkers, soppy, wet, monkey nut, idiotic and a quidnunc. But you are beautiful! Totus tuam (All yours) Caliban Ralph Mortimer Roome, Year 4, age 8

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