Miss, I really don't want to be him,
With a cloak of bright red and a towel on my head
And a cotton wool beard on my chin.
* Oh Miss, please don't make me a shepherd.
I just won't be able to sleep.
I'll go weak at the knees and wool makes me sneeze
And I really am frightened of sheep.
* Oh Miss, I just can't be the landlord,
Who says there's no room in the inn.
I'll get in a fright when it comes to the night
And I know that I'll let Mary in.
* Oh Miss, you're not serious - an angel ?
Can't Peter take that part instead ?
I'll look such a clown in a white silky gown,
And a halo stuck up on me head.
* Oh Miss, I am not being a camel !
Or a cow or an ox or an ass !
I'll look quite absurd and I won't say a word,
And all of the audience will laugh.
* Oh Miss, I'd rather not be a Wise Man,
Who brings precious gifts from afar.
But the part right for me, and I hope you'll agree, In this play - can I be the star ?
(From : The Day Our Teacher Went Batty, by Gervase Phinn, to be published
in March by Puffin)