a The condom-phobic Pope

b The yacht-owning classes

c A German punk band

d Africa’s biggest pop stars

2 What did airport immigration officials find being smuggled into Australia under a female traveller’s skirt?

a 16lb of cocaine

b A year’s supply of Marmite

c 51 live tropical fish

d The Ashes

3 Former council house sold for pound;680,000! Does it make you: a Cheer?

b Envious?

c Rich?

d Feel you’ll never get a foot on the property ladder?

4 Why are supermarket warehouse workers being tagged?

a To prevent heart problems

b Improve efficiency

c Trial run for ID cards

d Trial run for motorway pricing

5 Why was the policeman doing 112mph?

a He was chasing bank raiders

b Pregnant wife gone into labour

c Girlfriend wanted to get home

d To go and watch Big Brother

Answers under the crossword

ANSWERS: 1d, 2c, 3d, 4b, 5c