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No comment...;Millennium edition

Ted Wragg's column is not the only light relief that The TES has provided for teachers over the years. The No Comment feature introduced in 1952 also provided innumerable pick-me-ups. These are among our favourites:

William David Pollock, aged 27, a customs officer of Hull, was fined pound;75 for failing to pay duty on 42 bottles of spirit. Pollock, said his solicitor, had been laying in a stock of drink for the time when he began a three-year course at a teacher training college.

Local newspaper, 1963

"We have some fine girls here. Some of them went to see Liberace the other day and walked out disgusted. That shows our type of girl."

Headteacher quoted in the Daily Mail, 1956 Craig was unable to come back to school yesterday as his mother was ill in bed. There was no way he went to see "Grease".

Absence note, 1978

I wish to complain about one of the teachers. When Robert came back withhis leg on Monday he called him a sesquidpedling vertybrate. I would have you know he is a good boy and has never had anything to do with drugsthough he does smoke a bitand I don't think he ought to say this especially as you are going comprehensive.

Parent's letter, 1967

In most cases such examiners are also internal examiners. But in a few cases external examiners are marking with internal examiners who are not also external examiners. In such cases, material for the internal examiner is addressed to the external examiner I Examination board advice, 1970s

The school decapitation rate has dropped 40 per cent in three years.

Yorkshire Evening Post, 1980

The following are not considered to have left school: pupils who have emigrated or died.

LEA's guidelines, 1978

When he was asked by Gareth Williams QC, in the Thorpe Trial, which newspapers he had been "touting" his story to, airline pilot Andrew Newton at first replied that he couldn't remember. "Come now, Mr Newton," Mr Williams said. "I'm sure you can. For example, was it 'The Times Educational Supplement'?" National newspaper, 1978

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