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Ode to joyless

Desperate to recruit a maths teacher, Douglas Lawson, deputy head of Aylesford school in Kent, asked head of English Sally Watson to write an "inventive" job advert.

Ms Watson penned some free verse. "Are you on the highway to nowhere? Want a crap salary and frequent work overload? Want so much paperwork it comes out of every orifice? Want to do other people's work when they call in sick and you fell like death but dragged yourself in? Hey - be a teacher! It's so much fun!

After barbs at "failed teachers called inspectors", Ms Watson concludes:

"At Aylesford school you will walk through driving rain from one hut (also known as a classroom) to another and eventually find an inadequately equipped staffroom but little in the way of resources. Are you ready for this? Yes? Hey - be a teacher! It's so much fun! But the people are pretty OK." Why, we wonder, was this never used?

diary@tes.co.uk

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