The one word that should guide all parent relationships

Parents can be unnerved if they don’t recognise teaching methods – trust is an issue that schools must tackle
21st September 2020, 1:17pm

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The one word that should guide all parent relationships

https://www.tes.com/magazine/archive/one-word-should-guide-all-parent-relationships
How Schools Can Build Good Relationships With Parents

People often say that the problem with working in education is that because everyone has had one, everyone is an expert.

Furthermore, when parents have very different educational backgrounds, their perception is of what a “good” education looks like can vary enormously.

Schools building relationships with parents

Working in an international school, this variation in parental experiences can be even greater and so has the potential to have a considerable impact on school-parent relationships.

For example, your school overseas may have a distinctive ethos, based upon the development of well-rounded individuals with character and resilience. 

This, by its very nature, will involve developing a very rich extracurricular programme with plenty of sport, drama, music and challenging expeditionary activities.

Your school may expect students to work collaboratively on wide-ranging, open-ended projects in a curriculum that is organised by themes rather than by subject. 

The students in your classes may embrace this ethos enthusiastically, but parents may find the approach of your school more challenging to understand. 

Homework that looks unfamiliar

If you’re a parent, you may well recognise the following scenario. You have been called upon to assist your offspring with their latest piece of homework and you happily launch into an explanation of gas exchange in the lung, or long division, or the history of railways. 

Your hubris, however, is quickly shaken by cries of “that’s not how we do it/learn it at school”. 

You talk through the problem at hand and both understand it a little better. Exit one parent, somewhat deflated but still with a sense of having helped.

Now imagine that, as a parent, it isn’t just this one bit of the curriculum that is different, but everything diverges so much from your own experience of school that you can’t even work out where to begin. 

Language barriers

To further compound your struggles, the work is in a different language - perhaps one you have a smattering of, but certainly not one you speak at a level to be able to cope with grade 10 geography.  

If that’s not enough to make you feel inadequate, then there’s a grading system, and an examination system, which you don’t fully understand. You try to talk to your friends about it: “Why send your child to that school?” they say, “I wouldn’t take any chances with my child’s education.”

For some parents with children in international schools, this is a challenge they face every day. 

It is true, of course, that parents have carefully investigated the options open to them. In many cases, sending their child to your school is, therefore, an active choice because the ethos of the school resonates with them.

Risks? Or rewards?

But, once again, the parents among you will quickly recognise a situation where your confidence in a decision can be easily shaken by a throwaway comment, or a hint that you might have taken an unnecessary risk.

It’s of paramount importance that international schools, and their teachers, help to support parents in remembering why they chose you in the first place. 

This will involve regular re-articulation of a consistent message about the values and ethos of the school, and what this looks like in practice. 

Bear in mind, too, that a parent’s nagging worry that their decision to buy into your school might have been wrong may manifest as a series of complaints about anything from the food in the canteen, to the length of the day or the choice of textbook in maths. 

The power of trust

Getting to grips with what is really behind these concerns can take time and is as much to do with understanding the educational philosophy and culture the parent themselves has experienced as it is with addressing the issue at face value. 

Building up trust, and confidence, in families that your educational model works is a dialogue that needs to permeate all school activity. 

So gaining trust isn’t achieved through a one-off message delivered at an admissions event, followed by a welcome talk when a student joins the school.

It’s not just found in the mandated, termly tutor meeting with parents, or the principal’s carefully crafted website welcome. 

It’s woven into the fabric of the school, from the constant dialogue that teachers and schools have with families, to the Twitter messages and the quick emails, the coffee mornings to the school productions, and every other tiny point of contact throughout the day.

All of which says: “This is what we’re about. Trust us. This is why you chose us.”

Gwen Byrom is director of education strategy at NLCS International

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