Popularity test to join Sats?

I was interested to see the latest mathematical equation to explain away our lives. From the London School of Psychiatry it gives a measure to human popularity. Five, lettered, attributes can be assigned up to five points each and must then be substituted into the equation: Popularity = (32C + 16F + 15A + 14P + 11H)4.4 where C = Contact with friends, F = Facilitating entertainment, A = Attractiveness, P = Personality, H = Humour.

It occurs to me that schools could easily improve C and F by emphasising them in the curriculum; these have the biggest factors and should yield rich rewards. Special jester teachers could help to boost humour. Altering personalities may prove a little more difficult but surely talented teachers could help. On-site health and beauty consultants and perhaps cosmetic surgeons could improve the A scores.

Am I alone in suspecting that the Department for Education and Skills is already working on this equation for its "value-added" tables?

Yours in popularity Bob Lee (68.20 to two decimal places) 24 Green Lane Close Byfleet Surrey

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