2. Who needed to point out that schools were not “fun palaces”?

3. Who sent Gordon Ramsay and Alan Sugar to detention?

4. Which lucky group of teachers started earning upwards of pound;80,000?

5. What did one teacher stop her husband wearing because it made him “smell like a Year 9”?

6. How did a school put inner bliss on the curriculum?

7. Which school attracted the interest of more than 5 million people but was described as “full of numpties”?

8. What turned children toxic?

9. Which patchy bunch went in search of a new image?

10. What’s small, white and loved by children?

Answers

1. Both became minor internet celebrities. “Tozzer”, a secondary school teacher, had his noodlings posted on the video website YouTube by cheeky pupils. Delores the thorough-bred sow appeared on a web-cam set up by the futuristically named Saltash.net community school in Cornwall.

2. Maurice Smith, who was acting chief inspector of schools earlier this year. He wanted pupils and parents to accept education was a hard slog and not a pleasure cruise. Most had already noticed.

3. The NASUWT. It said their big-mouthed reality shows were encouraging bullying.

4. Primary heads, who found their market value boosted by a shortage of applicants. Ten years ago, the average salary was a respectable, but not earth-shattering pound;25,000.

5. Lynx deodorant. Its popularity was causing many teachers to reach for their hankies because teens believed it would make them irresistibly attractive to the opposite sex.

6. Wellington College, Berkshire, introduced happiness lessons, the idea of its new head, Anthony Seldon.

7. Waterloo Road, the fictional comprehensive featured in a BBC1 series.

Made by the same people as Footballers’ Wives, it received a mixed response from teachers.

8. Childhoods were being turned “toxic” by a diet of video games, junk food and over-testing, according to a group of youth experts, including Sue Palmer, a literacy consultant.

9. Geography teachers. Daniel Raven-Ellison and David Rayner sent a letter to the Government in protest at their subject’s fusty, corduroy-jackets-and-leather-elbow-patches image.

10. Exam papers, according to a report by the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority, which claimed pupils relied on tests to give them valuable feedback.