Relieved - at least until he sobers up

After a morning's hard drinking, you strip off for a nap on the staffroom couch before urinating against the wall in front of your pupils. Let's face it, we've all been there.

But for a hapless teacher at Rukunga primary school, Kenya, the scene was more than a peculiarly vivid nightmare.

"What are you doing now? Why have you followed me into my house? I've bought you enough drinks. Now go away!" demanded the naked teacher, who was found last week relieving himself against the staffroom wall, clearly believing attack to be the best form of defence.

When quizzed, it turned out he had arrived at the school at 9am after a night on the tiles, mistaken the school for his house, his colleagues for his drinking buddies, and the wall for, well, the obvious.

"A lot of teachers carry bootleg booze into schools disguised as porridge.

That way they can get drunk without anyone knowing," a parent told reporters.

After outraged families arrived at the school en masse to lobby for his dismissal, the teacher was suspended and the local education officer has vowed to boot out tipsy teachers. The case will appear before the Teachers Service Commission in Nairobi.

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