The rise and rise of parental misbehaviour: Where did it come from? And what can we do about it?

Parents need to understand that open criticism of their child’s teacher is likely to incite their youngster to adopt forms of behaviour that will distract them from taking their education seriously, writes one leading sociologist
24th July 2016, 12:03pm

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The rise and rise of parental misbehaviour: Where did it come from? And what can we do about it?

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It is difficult not to feel dispirited when you read reports outlining the problem of behaviour in classrooms. According to most surveys and anecdotal accounts from teachers, the problem of class disruption, antisocial behaviour and acts of aggression towards pupils and teachers has become more common. One worrying symptom of this problem is that acts of antisocial behaviour and aggression are no longer confined to teenagers. The management of behavioural problems has become increasingly more difficult in primary schools.

Bad Form: Behaviour in Schools, a report recently published by the trade-union UNISON makes for dismal reading. Its survey of 14,500 schools support staff indicates that far too many of them have experienced or witnessed violence or the threat of violence in schools. In particular, classroom assistants are having a bad time. More than half (53 per cent) have experienced, and three-quarters (76 per cent) have witnessed some form of physical violence in school. A roughly similar number (53 per cent) has also experienced or witnessed (73 per cent) verbal threats at school.

What I found most worrying about this report was its finding that the source of a significant proportion of the abuse and threats hurled at school support staff were parents. Parents were responsible for almost a third (31 per cent) of the abuse directed at teaching/classroom assistants. Having to deal with recalcitrant children is bad enough but the consequences of outbursts of parental frustration and aggression in schools are far worse. Such unbecoming conduct encourages children to adopt antisocial behaviour in general and not just in schools. It also forces teachers on the defensive and seriously undermines the standing and authority of the teaching profession.

Parental misbehaviour

In the course of my research on the changing culture of parenting I have been struck by the radical shift in attitude of many mothers and fathers towards the teachers of their children. In general almost all parents acknowledge the importance of teachers for the wellbeing and education of their children. However, when it comes to specific incidents that involve their own offspring, many parents forget the importance of supporting the decision of the teacher and choose to side with their child. There is a perceptible tendency for parents to adopt the role of their child’s advocate to the point of openly challenging a teacher’s decision.

Not so long ago there was an unstated assumption that parents did not criticise parents in front of their children. It was understood that if parents criticised or mocked a teacher’s behaviour in front of their youngster it would have a corrosive impact on classroom behaviour. Today many parents have little inhibition about talking about a teacher’s alleged faults in front of a child. Worse still, when a pupil criticises a teacher for not being fair of for being too harsh, the default position of some parents is to concur with the views of their child. In many cases the criticism made by a child acquires the status of an incontrovertible truth when recycled by a parent. Through the medium of school-gate gossip the alleged failure of a teacher is passed on by one adult to another and soon becomes widely known by parents and pupils alike.

One reason why the essential solidarity between mothers/fathers and teachers has broken down is because of the changing culture of parenting. Parents are expected to be intensely involved in their children’s lives and as a result their lives becomes emotionally entangled to the point that they regard their child’s performance in school as a direct reflection on themselves. Too often, when one’s child is censured, mothers and fathers experience it as an attack on themselves.

In most cases when parents act as uncritical advocates of their child in disputes with teachers there is little direct harm done other than complicate life in the classroom. However in some - fortunately still relatively rare - cases some parents cross the boundary between advocacy and aggression and adopt a confrontational mode of promoting the cause of their child. The growing instances of abuse directed by some parents at teachers and support staff is its unfortunate outcome.

It is important that the uneasy relationship between parents and teachers is openly addressed and renegotiated. Shared adult responsibility is essential for schools to flourish and that requires the mutual respect for the role and status of parents and teachers. Parents need to know that their open criticism of their child’s teacher is likely to incite their youngster to adopt forms of behaviour that will distract them from taking their education seriously.  

Parental advocacy and pressure has a deleterious impact on the quality of children’s education. Parental pressure forces teachers on the defensive and distracts them from devoting their full attention and energy from getting on with the job of educating their pupils. When teachers feel they need to watch their backs and avoid hassles with parents, it is the education of the children that suffers.

Frank Furedi is emeritus professor of sociology at the University of Kent

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