Pupils say the funniest things: the 13 best

18th October 2013 at 17:00
For the last three days, a crack team at TES Towers has battled away to bring you the 13 funniest stories of life at the chalkface. Using the #overheardinclass hashtag, the submissions came thick and fast.
Only now, after our high-level committee of judges has met, debated, ruminated and cogitated, can we announce the winnder of the 2013 Annual "Pupils Say The Funniest Things" Contest... 
The winner (of a shiny TES mug):
One child asking another: "How do you spell GCSE?”
And 12 honourable mentions (also winning shiny TES mugs):
A Year 11 asked in all seriousness: "Is the chicken you eat made from the sort of chickens you see on farms?"
Me: “What does Shakespeare mean by a ‘Proven Wanton’?” Pupil: "I thought that was Chinese food, is he calling her tasty?"
“Napoleon was short because of his porn nutrition.”
"He's drawn Jesus on a trampoline!"
“In the war some soldiers wore bulletproof breasts.”
"What's Obama's surname?"
"In 1845 the Irish people were dying of salvation."
Mobile Farm at primary school with turkeys. Farmhand: "Guess what these are, clue – you eat them at Christmas." Pupil: "Sprouts!"
While watching DVD of Jesus Christ superstar kid whispers to mate: “Does he die in the end?”
Me: "Put the word divided into a sentence." Pupil: "I divided into a swimming pool."


My favourite of all time: “Geldof went to Africa to shave the orphans”

Lad in my class: “Henry who ate.”
Well done everyone. Pat yourselves on the back.


The guide by your side – ensuring you are always up to date with the latest in education.

Get Tes magazine online and delivered to your door. Stay up to date with the latest research, teacher innovation and insight, plus classroom tips and techniques with a Tes magazine subscription.
With a Tes magazine subscription you get exclusive access to our CPD library. Including our New Teachers’ special for NQTS, Ed Tech, How to Get a Job, Trip Planner, Ed Biz Special and all Tes back issues.

Subscribe now