16 ways primary teachers know that Sats Week is at a close

12th May 2016 at 18:20
Sats week is over
You are mentally and physically exhausted. The weekend is in sight. Tomorrow you will wake up without panicking. Yup, it's the end of 2016's primary assessment tests. Here are 16 other ways primary teachers know that SATS ARE OVER
  1. The Year 6s have grown an inch taller
  2. You look in the mirror and feel like you’ve aged several years
  3. The Year 5s have stopped gloating – they’re being told horror stories about subordinating conjunctions
  4. You switch on the news and they’ve stopped talking to politicians about leaked Sats tests and resumed talking to politicians about the EU referendum…
  5. … or to retired football managers about Euro 2016
  6. Wow! There is sunshine. Has it been there all week?
  7. You’ve had a week off marking – and spent the extra free time calling your mum to tell her about how the Sats were going
  8. Your mum is no longer picking up your calls
  9. The DfE publishes yet another clarification on the teacher assessments at the very moment when... 
  10. ... you’d just had five minutes when you’d stopped thinking about the teacher assessments
  11. You take down the “SHHH! Children sitting exam” poster on your classroom door...
  12. ... and put up a “SHHH! Teacher writing assessments” poster instead
  13. The sound of the children playing outside no longer irritates you
  14. You tell your class they’re doing outdoors learning today. They skip out of the classroom
  15. The deputy head asks if Year 6 are all ready for their residential trip to a seaside adventure centre
  16. “Forget the Year 6s,” you reply. “I’m ready. I've never been more ready for a day out! I’ve had fronted adverbials up to here! Negotiating raging white-water rapids on a surfboard while simultaneously headcounting 30 children holds no fear for me. Bring it on!”

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