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Two sixth-form girls were arguing about whether you could give blood if you "had just been pissed". I intercepted their question in shock, saying that I didn't know whether you could give blood if you had just been drunk. They started laughing: "No, pierced!" explained one, pointing to her navel.


* When I asked a Year 7 class to put on to a "graffiti wall" any questions or comments they had about God, one Year 7 boy wrote: "If God made the world, what did he stand on?"


* I asked Ricky, a Year 7 lad, why he wasn't copying down the notes I had made on the board. "I am Sir," he replied, "but my blue pen's run out so I'm writing in white."


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