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Soundbites

Year 1 boy to the class: "My mum is going to have a new baby (pause)... My dad surprised her with a tadpole."

KATHRYN EVANS, HUDDERSFIELD

Mum was going to learn a foreign language at evening class. Lucy, 7, appeared delighted. "When you tell me to go to bed in French, I won't be able to understand you."

MICHAEL SMITH, DERBY

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