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Peter Jones: Checking the enrolment forms of a group of school-leavers applying for an NVQ brickwork course, I was stopped short by one student's list of achievements. Under the title "Examinations to date" were four columns. "Subject", "grade" and "date" were neatly and correctly completed for his five exam passes. But under the fourth heading, "board", was written: "Yes I was", "lots", "not so much", "no" and "yes, very much".

Bob Aston: Overheard at rehearsals for the Nativity play crowd scene: "Don't go near the ox, you'll catch mad cow disease."

We pay pound;30 for each Soundbite we publish. Send yours, of about 200 words to Sarah Bayliss, The TES Admiral House, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1 9XY Fax 0171 782 3200

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