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Soundbites

An Ofsted inspector joins the nursery class. He notices a girl placing a wooden jelly shape in a matched hole; that day's lunch menu has jelly on it. "I see you're having jelly for lunch," he says to the girl. She says nothing. He tries again. "You can have jelly for dinner today." She looks up and says, with exasperation: "You don't have jelly for dinner; you have it for pudding."

BILL BOWER

* A child complains that her elbow is so numb that she cannot feel it or write. She is sen to the secretary, who tells her to close her eyes. "Can you feel this?" the secretary asks, touching the child's hand. "Yes." "Can you feel this?" (touching the child's shoulder). "Yes." "And this?" (touching her elbow). "No, I can't feel a thing on my elbow." The child is sent back to sit the spelling test.

BOB ASTON

* Overheard in the reception class: First child: "What day is it today?" Second child: "Thursday" First child: "Are Thursdays long?"

CAROLE CALLENDER

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