You read it here first: Sooty has a doppelgnger. Or possibly a clone. It may be difficult to believe that the furry little chap has split his tiny self in two but, according to Qdos Entertainment’s list of this season’s pantomimes, he’s starring at both the Cliffs Pavilion, Southend, and the Grand Theatre, Swansea, in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Let’s hope he doesn’t have to be all three in each case.

At least Frank Bruno will be on hand to help out in Southend. One can only guess whether the famous boxer will say ”‘Arry” frequently in his gravelly voice-with-laugh-attached, but it will be a lost opportunity if he doesn’t, for Christmas shows - and Qdos has 27 of them everywhere from Aberdeen to Plymouth - are often intended to corroborate what you already know about some of your favourite people. Why, here’s Julian Clary in Cinderella at Woking. Anyone want to take bets on the number of camp innuendoes that might have crept in among the Buttons and see-through slippers? And will Melinda Messenger avoid mentioning Celebrity Big Brother in Birmingham’s Aladdin? Oh no she won’t!

To read this review in full see Friday Magazine in this week’s TES. nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;