A Glasgow primary teacher reports that, returning to school following the Easter break, she was asked by one pupil what she had done during the holidays (a nice bit of role reversal).
"I went to Irelad to see friends," she said. "Why did you have to go to Ireland?" queried the bemused child. "Couldn't you watch it on your own telly?"
The pupil, of course, meant friends with a capital F.