All the talk of the town

4th August 2000 at 01:00
Song, dance, puppets, plays and the circus: Raymond Ross gives an A to Z teachers' guide to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Albert and Friends Instant Circus Every teacher's dream: a free show. Top of the bill is a lunchtime circus cum street theatre production of A Midsummer Night's Dream preceded, from 10.30am, by circus workshops. Suitable for three-year-olds up to senior management. At Wireworks, behind the Fringe office. August 21-28 Bob Doolally: A Life in Football The fabulously foul-mouthed football manager returns to the Stand Comedy Club. The perfect way to reacclimatise yourself to the linguistic realities of the secondary school classroom. Particularly recommended for guidance staff. Until August 27 Cookin' Last year's sell-out show stir-fried at the Assembly Rooms. A post-Fanny Craddock kung fu cookery show that combines physical education with home economics and peripatetic dance. School dinners will never be the same again. Until Aug 27

DemarcoRocket Productions: A Little Requiem for Kantor (Fringe First 1998), on at Davie Street.An old man goes back to school, hounded and haunted in a derelict classroom. Polish "Theatre of the Dead" in homage to the late, great Tadeusz Kantor.August 7-19 Earl Okin Billed as the Fringe legend's final Edinburgh appearance, the mild-mannered musical maestro offers his last lesson in Old Horny Mouth Says Goodbye at the Cafe Royal. Not for the 5-14 curriculum or supporters of Clause 282A. Until August 28

Festival Theatre USC, USA The University of Southern California returns to Drummond Community High School in Edunburgh offering snippets from Star Wars to Tennessee Williams. These guys are consistently good and good value at only pound;5 a ticket. Until August 26

Granary Productions Greyfriars Kirk House is the venue for Breathing Water by Raymond Scannell, an evocation of Catholic schooldays in Ireland and a young boy's fear of water. Until August 27

Harvard-Westlake School Rembiko Project Two strictly timetabled productions (exactly 99 minutes each) of Brecht's Galileo and Shaw's St Joan with live music and modern dance. Bring your stopwatch to St John's, West End. August 7-19

Ingoma Song and Dance An African tale of cultural initiation from the excellent young performers of the Mamelodi Theatre Organisation. Lunchtime aerobics are nothing to this high kickin' rhythm at the Bongo Club, New Street. Aug 7-26

Japan Experience The Taiko Drummers, Europe's foremost Japanese drum group, return to The Garage in Grindlay Street with last year's sell-out show Mugenkyo. For very innovatory teachers of music, dance and physical education. August 7-28

Kenspeckle Puppets Sylvia Troon, one of Scotland's favourite peripatetic puppeteers and a regular primary school performer, presents Midas Goes for Gold at The Netherbow, in High Street, for four to nine-year-olds. Be prepared to participate. August 5-28

Luath Edinburgh and Leith Pub Guide Perfect R amp; R after a hard day at the chalkface - if you can escape by 3.30pm. The capital's love affair with drink is told in story and song, with pound;1 off your pint, at the Cambridge Bar in Young Street. August 8-26 Forget the "Lochgelly Leather". Tomorrow night's concert, Sing for the New Century, is a real beltr featuring Fife's Lochgelly High School Choir and three American children's choirs tackling Bach, Purcell and James MacMillan at Canongate Kirk. August 5

National Association of Youth Orchestras The very best of youth orchestras, including East Renfrewshire, East Dunbartonshire, Edinburgh, West of Scotland, Fife, Perth, Aberdeen, Lothian (all at Central Hall, Tollcross) and Scottish Borders (St Giles's Cathedral). August 15-27

Oundle Stahl Youth Ensemble theatre production of Berkoff's adaptation of Kafka's The Trial at St Columba's by the Castle. Meatier and possibly more complex than the McCrone committee report, certainly more enjoyable. August 20-27

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park Energetic young company perform satirical songs from the poisoned pen of the inimitable Tom Lehrer. Of appeal to the cynical observer of humanity - or the experienced teacher. At the Gilded Balloon. Until Aug 28

QMW Theatre Company Big Hair tells the story of a woman with an atrocious beehive hair-do and her daughter who desperately wants to be grown up. Guidance doesn't get a look in as the daughter models herself on Jackie magazine. At Old St Paul's in Jeffrey Street. August 7-19

Rita Rottenhole Your chance to join the creme de la creme as the said Ms Rottenhole transmogrifies into Edinburgh's most famous teacher in Miss Jean Brodie Takes Class. Join class 2B at Marcia Blane (aka Drummond Community High School, Edinburgh). August 14-20

Sargent Cancer Care for Children A choir of more than 300 voices perform Gabriel Faure's Requiem at St Giles's Cathedral. Proceeds to the charity. August 26

Theatre Alba mpr Josef, a play set in 1970s and 1980s Scotland and pre-war and wartime Poland, explores issues of racism and identity and of crime and punishment in war and peace time. An evocation of memory, history and dream across a shared cultural territory. At Netherbow in High Street. August 9-September 2

Ubersausage! Uberchipolata, an Ubersausage morning show for all the family, with tightrope walking, fire juggling and balloon sculptures, at St Columba's by the Castle. Until August 26

Valvona amp; Crolla Britain's best delicatessen serves up singer-songwriter (and former teacher) Mike Maran's new show, Did You Used To Be RD Laing? Divided selves welcomed at the Elm Row eaterie. August 7-19

Wee Stories Theatre for Children One of the best children's theatre companies around. The Laird's New Kilt, a musical comedy in which everyone plays their part, runs at the Netherbow, High Street. August 5-28

XY Files Bratislava Dance Theatre, Slovakia's leading modern dance troupe, present The XY Files at St John's, West End. New York loved them. What will douce Edinburgh think? August 7-12

Young Pleasance Presents Jekyll amp; Hyde Forget the ostensible London setting, Stevenson's Calvinist take on the Divided Scotch Self is as Edinburgh as Deacon Brodie. A new adaptation with original music. A must for religious education. August 16-28

Zero Yard "Entangled in intricate architectures of institutional terror I prisoners battle for supremacy in a psychological cage." Yes, it could be set in a staffroom near you. Presented by 1999 Fringe First winners The Riot Group at The Garage in Grindlay Street. August 6-28

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