Bushtucker: the heads' trials

10th December 2004 at 00:00
As an avid viewer of I'm a Celebrity...Get me out of here!, I couldn't help wondering how the event would look with a group of headteachers. For starters, I think rather than parachute the contestants in, heads would be crammed into the back seat of a rusty old Allegro and be directed to reach the target in some impossibly short timescale.

Bushtucker trial 1: a head will dress up as a Panda (or ePanda!) and jump through hoops to catch food stars. Should just one star be missed the head will be deemed a failure resulting in no food for the rest of the camp.

Bushtucker trial 2: a head will be tied to a stake while various interested parties cover himher in bugs and slime while shouting "You're to blame for obesity, crime, under-age pregnancy, world debt" and so on.

Bushtucker trial 3. Every DfESOfsted correspondence from the past five years would be piled into one column, which will be climbed. Once at the top, the head has to calculate the total cost per school, evaluate how many reading books or support hours could have been bought and after gently weeping, abseil down the pile to collect the dinner.

Before I can sell the format to Teachers' TV, I need a few more Bushtucker trial ideas. Could any of your readers help?

John Nicholls

Samara Shorthorn Road Stratton Strawless Norwich

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