Daggers drawn at Holyrood
Departing from his prepared joined-up words of wisdom, Jenkins last week pretended to savage Nicola Sturgeon, a shadowy (sorry shadow) education figure.
During the SNP-initiated debate on the McCrone report into pay and conditions, Jenkins likened her to "one of those kids that we used to get in school".
She was "a wee bit surly sometimes but was brightand intelligent". The only problem was she didn't fancy anyone else getting in on any act.
After a main part in a play she would say: "I'm not in it for another 10 pages - can we get on to that bit?"
The cuddly Beast of the Borders continued: "She can come back in the last scene when the back-stabbing goes on and everybody dies. Instead of doing Macbeth, we could do Monteith. There is a lot of back-stabbing in that."
Brian Monteith, the Tories' education, sport and (black) arts spokesman, smiled graciously. He recognises a dagger when he sees one. All very charming.