Diary - My worst parent - What a day, ay

25th September 2009 at 01:00

I had a strange parental experience when I had to ferry Shannon and her son, Jordan, to look around a special school some distance away. Our grand trip out began when Shannon emerged from her flat sporting a massive pair of sunglasses with heart-shaped lenses and a pink top that exposed more skin than I would prefer to be close to. She then conducted the following conversation in duplicate as Jordan failed to hear first-time anything his mum said.

"Look, Jor, a lorry," said Shannon.

"Wha'?" he replied.

"A lorry."

"Oh, yea."

She pressed on. "Jor, there's no animals in them fields."

"Wha'?"

"Them fields. No animals in 'em."

"Oh yea."

"E's 'elpin me with me garden while 'e's off in't yer, Jor."

"Wha?"

"I said yer a right good gardener."

Jordan finally joined the conversation, when, spying the driver of a black car travelling in the opposite direction to us announced: "That were me dad." "Were it, darl?" Shannon responded, with no apparent interest in whether it actually was. Meanwhile, I drove on.

We were shown around the school by Charlie, who saw no reason to show us a classroom, but instead took us on a tour of the school farm via the bike workshop. Charlie assured Jordan that the school was "Alright if yer keep yer 'ead down," and that clinched it for Jordan.

On the return journey Jordan fell asleep and Shannon decided to check out my career. I told her I'd been working in teaching since 1992, thinking I was to be denounced as inexperienced. "Well," she said. "Yer' might know me partner." I did know him. "What's he doing now?" I asked. "Six years," Shannon said, without irony.

As I dropped them off at home, neither of them forgot their manners."We right enjoyed it didn't we Jor?" Wha?" he said. "I said ... ". By then I'd reversed and driven away.

The writer is an educational psychologist in the North of England. Send your worst parent stories to features@tes.co.uk. Each one we publish is worth #163;50 in MS vouchers.

Subscribe to get access to the content on this page.

If you are already a Tes/ Tes Scotland subscriber please log in with your username or email address to get full access to our back issues, CPD library and membership plus page.

Not a subscriber? Find out more about our subscription offers.
Subscribe now
Existing subscriber?
Enter subscription number

Comments

The guide by your side – ensuring you are always up to date with the latest in education.

Get Tes magazine online and delivered to your door. Stay up to date with the latest research, teacher innovation and insight, plus classroom tips and techniques with a Tes magazine subscription.
With a Tes magazine subscription you get exclusive access to our CPD library. Including our New Teachers’ special for NQTS, Ed Tech, How to Get a Job, Trip Planner, Ed Biz Special and all Tes back issues.

Subscribe now