Diary - Startling syndrome

13th November 2009 at 00:00

For those of you new to the profession or who simply cannot fathom your small charges, "research" has revealed that childhood is, in fact, a psychological syndrome.

Jordan Smoller, of the University of Pennsylvania, has come up with a paper on how childhood, "a symptom that has only recently begun to receive serious attention from clinicians", has several core features.

These include congenital onset (it is almost always present at birth); dwarfism (physically short relative to the population at large); emotional immaturity (as with some adults); knowledge deficits (an inability to discuss politics, arts and science) and finally legume anorexia (children who never eat veg).

As for treatment, the sheer number of children has made government intervention inevitable, according to Mr Smoller, in a large-scale programme known as school.

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?

Subscribe

To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers

Comments

Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
 
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar, Buyagift.com, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today