You can't beat the artful behaviour of the authorities as they try every ruse to capture school truants - known, at least to East Renfrewshire's fertile public relations team, as "artful doggers".
Well, why shouldn't they, since "unauthorised absentees" are well known for using their own ruses?
The latest episode in the campaign by the Strathclyde Police and west of Scotland education authorities to seek "doggers" at the beginning of the week was helped by "test questions" prompted by imaginative excuses from truants themselves.
The test asks: 1. What is your name? (0 marks) 2. Now what is your REAL name? (5 marks) 3. Tick the answers which you think best describe why you are not at school today: a. My great granny is sick (0 marks) b. I forgot my books and I am going home for them (0 marks) c. It's too wet to go to school today (0 marks) d. I'm suspended already (0 marks) e. I've already left school - I just look young for 18 (0 marks) f. OK I'm a dogger (5 marks) 4. Which school should you be at? Only the real one will do (5 marks).