Down the pan
Dalneigh primary has toilet problems, Inverness provost Bill Smith told a council committee last week, with the pupils even refusing to use them.
Ah, you should see the state of the loos at Kinmylies primary, responded councillor Ron Lyon.
Not to be outdone, councillor Dave Munro offered us the "shocking" girls'
toilets at Raigmore primary. That's nothing compared with "the dirty, stinky toilets" in Crown primary, ventured councillor Jimmy Gray.
Hector Robertson, the council's area education manager, promised to look for significant sums of money for, er, "rolling out" a programme of toilet improvements.
It gives a whole new meaning to "bums on seats".